• Amby's Myspace.


• Be somebody, or be somebody's fool.

• Rowan - Comment.


• Simon - Amby the Brave


• Tim - Earliest memory of Amby


• Rowan - Long. Needed to write some stuff.


• Andrew - Thinking about you every day.

This is a place to collect stories and pictures, to share experiences, and remember Amby. Please direct any memories or images for posting to ethan.sletteland@gmail.com

Posted by Rowan at 10:42pm on Thursday the 15th of May, 2008

I love that story, Simon.

Posted by Simon at 1:12am on Thursday the 15th of May, 2008

About five or six years ago I was in the Redding mall with Amby, Garrett, and Garrett's girlfriend.  At one point we'd all separated.  I was walking by myself past these three muscle-bound morons who were pushing each other for fun (I guess that qualifies as entertainment for some people) and one of them thought it'd be hilarious to push his idiot friend into me.  So that's what they did, and they had a good laugh at my expense and I just thought to myself, "These kinds of things are to be expected walking around a mall in Redding."

A little after that I met back up with everyone and we were ready to head out.  As we were making our way toward the exit we passed by the three goons again.  They were snickering to each other and I knew what was coming.  So of course, as they passed me they pushed me again, and like the first time I just kept silent and walked on, as did Garrett and his girlfriend.  It took me a minute to realize that Amby wasn't walking with us.  Amby had stopped them and said something to the effect of, "What the hell is wrong with you jerks?"  So naturally, one of them pushed him too--and with a lot more force.  They knocked him back, but as big as they were and as small as Amby was, he didn't allow them to knock him down.  A vein of rage bulged out on the side of his head as he stood his ground.  They made some threats and left.

Amby was probably around 20 at this time and he had the frame of a malnourished 15-year-old girl.  But his size never stopped him from standing up for people he loved.  Amby, Garrett, and me together probably couldn't have taken on one of those ogres--let alone three.  But it wasn't about who was stronger for Amby, or who could win in a fight.  It was about making it clear that a wrong had been committed and that he wasn't going to stand for it.  Even though I was his big brother (both in terms of age and size), he stood up for me because I had been slighted and had done nothing about it myself.  He really did have a need for justice in the world, and when something wasn't right you could always count on him to do something about it.

Posted by Tim at 5:35am on Friday the 9th of May, 2008

I kept thinking about Amby today.  I remembered an incident with Amby when we were little—probably my earliest memory of Amby.  It happened such a long time ago and when I was so young that I can’t vouch for the accuracy of my recollection, but this is how I seem to remember it.  Amby was looking out of our kitchen window at a squirrel in a tree, and he said something like, "Look at that thing on top of the thing!" This caused quite a commotion among us siblings, and for the longest time afterwards we would tease him saying, "You know—that thing on top of that thing with the thing over by that thing."  It’s a silly little memory, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  For one, it shows that for as long as I can remember, Amby has been a funny person.  I seem to remember that he was gesturing excitedly at it, and I can definitely see in that early memory the adult Amby.  But that memory also shows me that there are fragments of Amby’s life that I can only vaguely remember, can’t properly put into words, and will probably never be able to fully recollect.

Posted by Rowan at 9:30pm on Monday the 28th of April, 2008

This is partly from a blog thing I wrote today, for myself....but this part I wanted to share. I talk about Critter too, because their deaths were so close together, and in a weird way, although being about as different as two people can be, there are connections between them that I keep seeing and feeling. They both were the type of people who loved without restraint:

I think about Critter and Amby every single day and I think about how I used to look at Amby's face and just see....innocence. Because of how he loved. Like a little kid does, without giving a shit about the color of your skin, or how expensive your clothes are, or who your friends are, etc., etc.. Just give love and you shall receive. And I think about Critter's eyes and smile and how cool and real and the wisdom that would come out of his mouth...And I think about how different and against the grain both of these amazing men were and now they are gone and it's all fucked and rooted in this fucked-up world and my heart breaks all over again.

The only time I feel any sense of the word peace, and that's not even it, because it doesn't make me feel peaceful, it makes me feel...vengeful? Clear? I think clear is the word. That Ambrose is gone because of the Drug War. The Drug War created the drug problems we have in society. The Drug War created the "black" market. The Drug War has imprisioned an entire generation. The Drug War created the kind of drug "education" that says "Just Say No!", a fear-based education tool that is INEFFECTIVE, and DECEIVING and leads to nothing but all the horrific consequences of making something bad and scary and a no-no and then, by god, we gotta have it. And we all need to start seeing very clearly who is manipulating the puppet strings. The Drug War is to benefit those who have power and money, and to exploite the real, regular people trying to get through every day of this ridiculously hard and mostly terrible path of life.

This is a negative entry, perhaps, and I don't want to be negative. I just want to be clear and just not be fooled about what happened to these men that I loved. The not negative piece is how beautiful Ambrose is, and the memories he has left.

Posted by Andrew at 8:10am on Thursday the 24th of April, 2008

I've been thinking about Amby constantly the past week, I guess I've just been remembering all the hilarious and awesome times we used to have.  It's bitter sweet because I have such good memories attatched to those moments but at the same time I know that I'll never be able to relive or retell those moments with Ambrose.  I'm just glad the last time I saw him that he was in such high spirits and just really glad to be hanging out.  I'm not sure if Ambrose ever realized how much of an impact he made on me, an impact for the better.

I've been having a lot of dreams about Ambrose lately, most of them are very similar.  Every time I walk up to him and he seems really relaxed and happy.  I usually tell him "Hey man!  It's awesome seeing you!"  and I'm just ecstatic to be around him.  We usually just talk about good times and currently they are my favorite dreams to have. 

I'm just glad that I can see Amby in my dreams, having them be so realistic and happy is just about the best thing I can hope for with connecting with him. 

I miss him a lot.